(Really)  Hot Chocolate

 Oh my God! What the hell?
I think my flesh is going to swell
Right where the index meets the thumb
Holy crap! That was so dumb
For some stupid reason I was stirring like crazy
Then the hot chocolate splashed onto my hand

 and phased me
It made me cringe, I felt it burn
Over to the cold tap I did run
The initial pain had passed and the water, it soothed
But I ve been burnt in the past so I knew that the pain wasn t through
It soon returned and it burned and it stung
Now I m sitting here typing with one hand and it isn t fun
The other hand is in a pot full of cold water

 between my legs
That s what I do when I burn myself,  I guess
 the pain will pass eventually and the

 red mark will fade
But was it all worth this hot chocolate that I ve made?
I guess I paid the price of wanting a warm drink
Next time I have the urge to stir like an idiot I ll think
Wait! No! Remember what happened before
You acted like a tit, it splashes and you got sore
So take my advice, take care when stirring
And it is with regards to hot drinks that I am referring

J J J J J J J J J J J

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Unusual Funeral

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her
morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long
black hearse about 50 feet behind the
first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance
back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully
approached the woman walking the dog and said,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.
Whose
funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was
trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

()()()(()()()()(()()()()()(())(()()()()()()()()()()()()(()()()()()())()()()()()()()